Efek Samping

Atun : Jon!! Obat opo sing ora ono efek sampinge?
Joni : Kabeh obat yo mesti ono efek sampinge a, Tun... Kwe ku piye leh..
Atun : Yo ora..
Joni : Lha terus opo? Obat Tidur?
Atun : Salah a Le..
Joni : Obat Abit?
Atun : Opo meneh kuwi?? Salah!!
Joni : Lha terus opo?
Atun : Wes? Tit??
Joni : Yo wes lah. Tit aku..
Atun : OBAT KUAT.
Joni : Kok iso?
Atun : Obat kuat iku efeke mengarep!! dudu menyamping!! Yo po ra?
Joni : E...Dasar wong Stres...

Plesetan Inggris

Dina Kemis Pak Guru lagi nerangke Biologi.
P.Guru : Cah! Godhong opo sing gak gelem dicekel?
Udin : Godhong Mlinjo Pak!
P.Guru : Salah!
Adi : Godhong Tela pak!
P.Guru : A....Salah!
Edi : Godhong opo daun pak?
P.Guru : Godhong iku yo daun Le!
Edi : Sek go pak. Neng kene, sing jenius dewe tapi ora mudeng Basa Jawa iku Lobi pak!
P.Guru : Yowis! Coba Lobi! Daun apa yang tidak mau disentuh?
Lobi : DAUN TOUCH ME, Pak?

Rapot Abang

Bapak : Lho! Kenopo nang? Kok kwe lenger-lenger?
Anak : Gak popo pak...
Bapak : Kenopo?
Anak : Pak, werno abang iku artine opo pak?
Bapak : Abang iku wani! Berani!
Anak : Ooo, berani yo pak? Yowis! nek ngono aku adem ayem!
Bapak : Ono opo kok takon abang iku artine opo?
Anak : Rapotku abang pak!
Bapak "GUWOBLOK!!!!"

Calon Bojo

Sardi : Wis...Wis...! Kucing kok ayune koyo ngene..
Ngardi : Opo? Ayu?
Sardi : He'e! Malah luwih ayu soko calon bojoku.
Ngardi : Yowis! Rabio kucingmu!

Takon ibumu

Anake : Pak, sing nggawe kotang iku sopo pak?
Pak'ane : ........
Anake : Lha nek sing nggawe softek iku sopo pak?
Pak'ane : ........
Anake : Lha aku iku laire teko ndi pak?
Pak'ane : ........
Anake : Pak, wong wedok kok kudu nduwe susu leh pak? Lha kok wong wedok nganggo rok keneng opo pak?
Pak'ane : TAKON IBUMU!!!!!

Ora Lulus

Marcoli : Di, mbesok kwe arep kuliah neng ndi?
Marsidi : Yo isih suwe Li! Wong aku isih SMP kelas 3!
Marcoli : O yo! Aku lali. Lha rencanamu arep neruske neng SMA ndi Di?
Marsidi : Yo..........tapi..........
Sek go, nek menurutku yo, kwe ndaftar neng SMA 1 ndhisik! Sopo ngerti kecekel. Eh ! Ketompo.
Marsidi : Yo..........tapi..........
Marcoli : Nek gak ketompo, langsung ae "stirem" banting ning SMA 2. Nek gak ketompo, yo SMA 3. Ngono.
Marsidi : Yo..........tapi..........
Marcoli : Kowe kok ket mau yo tapi, yo tapi. Kenopo?
Marsidi : Yo tapi aku ora lulus e.....
Marcoli : ???

Motivation Proclamation

Spend your lazy, endless crazy,
days inside my head...
You're so selfish, you're not the only,
one who thinks he's dead...
I'm paid to smile, now i'm on trial,
for what you think I said...
But I never said,
that everything would be okay...
And I never said,
that we would live to see another day...

I'm realistic, and narcissistic,
you say I'm selfish and absurd.
You try to change me, try to save me,
you say I'm gonna learn.
I'm so blind, I'm out of time,
you're so unkind sometimes.
I never lied, I never lied, I never lied...
Cause I never said,
that everything would be okay,
and I never said that we would live to see another day,

Motivate me,
I wanna get myself out of this bed.
Captivate me,
I want good thoughts inside of my head.
If I fall down,
would you come around,
and pick me right up off the ground?

Yeah...
Cause everything,
it'll be okay.
You know we're gonna live,
to see another day...
yeah...